i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
