Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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