HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
