fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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