I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
