Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
