Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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