I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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