nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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