You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
ugly people sure do ruin things
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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