We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
