It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
