never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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