Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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