"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
