That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
