ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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