I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
