I want to stick my p in your. b.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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