We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
