i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
