Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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