actually, I'm a sock model
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
