dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
