my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize