If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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