I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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