you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
