Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
