stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
