I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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