I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
