he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize