I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
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