Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
