I'd wear matching sweaters with you
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
please come you make the beer taste better
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
