in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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