She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
