is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Do you still have your period?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
