my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
