Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
