absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
