Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
