Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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