i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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