we're blogging at a bar
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
