So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
