I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
