Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
