super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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