i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
