When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
