Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize