used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
