you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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