if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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