Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
