was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
