I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
