the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
