I am puke
my shit smells like andre
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
