i barfeds in our rink
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
