i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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