i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
this just has baby written all over it
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
