What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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