How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Randomize
