Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
