i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
