Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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