just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize