Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
