He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize